Tony Breaks
by Loki'sArmy0602
Summary: 'I've always been strong, but you know that time when everything gets you down, whether is snapping a crayon or world hunger, you just can't see a way out. That's what it's like for me. That's why i stand on the edge of my tower, arguing with myself on if i should jump or just walk away. If you want to argue, just don't. cos they will blame you if i jump. What would you do Rogers'
1. Chapter 1

**Tony Breaks**

'**I've always been strong and tough, never letting anyone in, it you know that time when everything in the world gets you down, whether it's snapping a crayon or world hunger, and you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Can't see a way out. Well that's what it's like for me right now. That why I stand here, on top of my tower, arguing with myself on whether I should jump and feel peace or if I should suck it up and just walk away from the edge. So, you can see, am dropping my mask to show you my problems, let you in on my life. If so could help, that would be great, but if you have come up here to tell me that there is no point in jumping, then the only thing I have to do is step and then it's all on you. They will all blame it on you. So just listen and think. If you were me, What would you do Rogers?'**

**Ok I know that speech was a little heart touching for me. but it was what it was. I didn't know what to do. So I stand there looking at him waiting to see what he would say. I know your probable like 'What the fuck is he on about' Well I'll tell you an explain why the hell my life came to this. Probable just depression, but people with depression normal do kill themselves… wait, do they?**

**It really started when I saved the world a few months back. Yeah it was fine, nothing you know I just flied into a portal and set a missile into an alien race's home and then fell to earth to only be caught by my big green friend. Yeah I died from about a couple of minutes. And then the mandarin thing happened. That all blew over quite well. But ever since then I've been having panic attacks and I can't shake them off. I thought it would never come to killing myself but it kind of did. **

'**Hey Stark. You listening!' Fury shouted down the table at the mechanic who was staring out the window of the helicarrier. **

'**Yeah eye patch, I am, but you know this is very boring,' Tony complained. Fury glared at him. **

'**So you think a terrorist attack is boring.' Fury asked, daring Stark to answer. **

'**Well, yeah,' Stark replied looking out the window again. Captain rogers sighed.**

'**Stark this isn't funny,' Rogers said, tony looked over to him. **

'**Stark, just go get your suit on and stop acting like a baby so we can just go an handle the attack,' Natasha said. **

'**Fine, I'll go. Can't handle an attack without me can you?' Stark said getting up and walking out. **

**They all walked out and climbed into the jet, Tony in front in his suit leading the way. **

'**I love Stark and everything, but seriously don't you think he is a bit self-centred and everything,' Clint said counting his arrows. **

'**Yeah we all know he is, but he's Tony Stark, Iron Man. Like he said, we can't do a job like this without him,' Steve said grabbing his shield. **

'**Hey, just remember he did save everybody in the worlds life, in New York last year,' Bruce said from the corner looking calm. Steve sighed. **

'**Yeah he did do a brave thing back then,' Steve said looking out of the window at Tony who was spinning around like an idiot. Steve sighed again. **

'**Still you never know, he might have changed,' Steve said not looking away from the spinning Iron Man. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Yeah so they had a little chat about me in the helicarrier… What they didn't know if that I heard them… Ear pieces seriously who dumb can they be. Anyway back to my story.**

**The helicarrier land down and they all stepped out. Tony landed down in front of them. Tony looked around to see what they were facing. There were creatures running around in the streets. Explosions going of everywhere. People were screaming and running out of the way of the aliens. Tony sighed. **

'**Can't catch a break from aliens can we, ever since last year, every bloody alien race wants to try and tackle the Avengers,' Tony said. 'A terrorist attack, oh really.' Tony huffed. **

'**More like alien attack,' Clint commented, placing an arrow in his bow. 'Cap?' **

'**Iron Man, you and Thor take fire from the sky with Hawkeye. Natasha, you and me will handle them from the ground and well Bruce, you know what to do,' Captain said. **

'**Give me a lift, mate,' Hawkeye said to Iron Man. Iron man ignored him. **

'**Find a way up yourself,' Stark replied. **

**Yeah I know, bit harsh but still he said I was self-centered. Keep listening though. **

**Iron Man flew off into the sky, leaving the rest of the Avengers in shock. **

'**Really that was a bit rude,' Hawkeye said. **

'**Just leave him, Hawkeye try and get up to one of these building… Stark try play nice,' Steve said to Stark through the eye piece. **

'**Yeah, fine,' Stark replied bluntly. Steve sighed and turned around. Hawkeye ran into a building on his right running up the stairs. Natasha grabbed both her guns in her hands and fired at the aliens. Captain flung his shield at an alien that was cornering in on a young women. The alien fell and the women got up and ran away. The Hulk came running passed and smashed into a group of the creatures. He grunted. Thor threw his hammer, knocking out a few alien creatures. **

**Hawkeye had reached the top of the building and ran to the edge. He shot his arrow down at the aliens. One looked up at him. Hawkeye grabbed another arrow just as the creature had fired at the bottom of the building Hawkeye was one. Hawkeye fired his arrow and it hit the alien in the throat. The bottom of the building exploded. Hawkeye felt the building shake. One by one each floor of the building collapsed. Natasha looked up and saw Clint on the roof of the falling building. **

'**Clint!' she shouted running back towards him. **

'**Guys, a little help here,' Hawkeye said from the roof. Thor spun his hammer around and then flew up to the roof to grab Hawkeye before the building fell. Stark came flying in. **

'**Stark leave it, Thor got Hawkeye,' Captain said over the com. Iron Man didn't listen. He grabbed hold of Clint and then flew off. Thor came flying up not knowing Iron man had just grabbed Clint. Thor flew up and crashed into Iron man and Clint. The building fell and Iron man dropped Clint. Thor crashed down onto the roof of a building. Iron man fell down and hit the side of the building, crashing through the window. Clint fell and hit the ground hard.**

**I know I shouldn't have grabbed Clint, but they didn't know that I had been hit by one of the aliens in the head. It sent my com going all wired. It was cracking up and all I heard from Steve was 'Stark… Hawkeye.' So I would have gone and got him right? Right. but you know they didn't believe me when I told them. **

**Clint hit the ground hard and rolled over onto his back. He groaned. His leg was killing and he had a stabbing pain in his back. Thor landed back down on the floor and threw his hammer at the remaining aliens. They fell to the floor and Thor ran over to Clint. Natasha was at Clint's side first and then Steve. **

'**Clint, you ok?' Steve asked. Clint nodded and groaned.**

'**Yep, just fell meters from the ground. Help me up,' Clint said. Natasha and Steve pulled Clint to standing position. **

'**I think you have broken your leg,' Natasha said. **

**Iron Man pulled the desk of himself and stood up. He groaned. He could feel blood running down his face. He walked to the edge of the window and flew down to the ground next to the group. **

'**Soz man, you ok?' Tony said, his face masked lifted up. Natasha scowled at him.**

'**Does he look fine? No, and it's your fault. He has a broken leg because of you. did you not know that Thor was going to get him. Oh no, you just always have to be the one that saves the day,' Natasha snapped at him. She helped Clint walk back to the jet. The rest followed, including Bruce how had de-hulk.**

'**Hey guys, I didn't hear you,' Tony called after them. **

'**Oh really,' Natasha said and climbed into the helicarrier. The engines started and the helicarrier took off. **

'**Fine then, oh am sorry that I saved Clint's life yeah, I'll not do it again. I'll just be the person who is self-centred and not help anyone but myself,' Tony mumbled to himself. He was self-centered though, Stark thought. Tony flew up into the sky and back to the Stark Tower, wanting to just get back to the lab and work. **

**Natasha was a bit harsh there; yeah I know she was just upset that I nearly killed Clint. If I could have heard them I would have listened, but I couldn't heard them. When I told them that they just ignored me thinking I was lying. Which I did often lie about things but then I wasn't. When I got back to the Tower, I walked into the living room and Clint was there next to Natasha who was bandaging his leg. I walked straight to the bar, ignoring them, I grabbed a bottle of scotch and walked straight out of the room.**

'**Ignoring us because he is upset that I snapped at him, he needs to grow up,' Natasha said. **

**I heard her; she probable wanted me to hear her. But I kept walking, keeping my mask up until I got down to the lab. I got drunk that night and then threw up in the toilet in my lab. I sat back again the down of the bathroom. **

**'Argh!' I said to myself. I got up and stumbled out of the bathroom and collapsed on to the sofa in my lab, i closed my eyes and curled up into a ball. I was self-centered and yeah I knew I was but I loved who i was and i wasn't going to change just because of Natasha.**

** That was then when I started to look at my life and realized what it was.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Tony hadn't come out of his lab for the past five days. He didn't come out of his lab for food or drink, not even to get some scotch or to go up to his room to get some proper sleep.**

'**Doesn't he need to eat?' Clint asked, he was staring at the lift. He had his leg up on a pillow on the coffee table. Natasha looked up and saw that Clint was staring at the lift. **

'**It's Stark… so no he doesn't,' Natasha said. She was sitting next to him, flicking through a magazine. Steve and Thor were watching the news. Bruce was sat on the floor reading a book.**

'**Don't you think we should go check on him?' Bruce asked. Natasha sighed. **

'**No.. we should leave him. He'll come up when he has finished sulking or when he runs out of scotch,' Natasha said, turning her attention back to her magazine. **

'**Yeah your right, he'll come back up soon,' Clint said, resting his head against the back of the sofa, closing his eyes. Only a couple of minutes pass and Bruce places his book on the coffee table and got up. **

'**Well… I'm concerned for our friend, even if you're not, I am… so am going to go check on him,' Bruce said walking towards the lift. He felt the rest of the Avengers eyes on him as he walked to the lift and headed down to Tony's lab. **

**The lift doors opened and Bruce stepped out. He turned left and walked down the small corridor and came to the glass doors. He looked at the door. He didn't know the code. He looked through the glass door to find Tony. He couldn't see him.**

'**Jarvis, Can you please open the door?' Bruce asked Jarvis unsure if he would open the door or not. The door beeped and swung open.**

'**Thank you Jarvis,' Bruce said and walked inside. **

'**Tony?' Bruce said. He heard a grunt to his left. Bruce followed the grunt. He came to find Tony's feet popping out from under a car. **

'**Tony?' Bruce asked, Tony grunted. Bruce pulled a rolling stool towards him and sat down on it. He wasn't going to move until Tony talked to him. Bruce stayed there for five minutes, waiting. Tony laid looking up at the underside of the car he was working on. He finally rolled himself out from under the car. Bruce was leaning over him. He smiled down at Tony. He looked awful. He had bags under his eyes and he was still in the same clothes he was wearing five days ago. He looked tired and he looked older than he had ever looked. Tony sighed but didn't sit up; he just stared up at Bruce wondering why he was here and if Bruce would just leave him alone. **

'**You ok. You look terrible,' Bruce said quietly. Tony laughed. **

'**Why thanks Bruce, it's nice to see you too,' Tony said rolling further forward so he could sit up. He rested his back against the car he was working on and sighed. **

'**I came down here to see if you were ok. And by the look of it, you don't look ok,' Bruce said with I look of concern on his face. **

'**Brucie chill. I'm fine. Stop worrying about me,' Tony said getting up and putting down his screwdriver he had in his hands. He turns around to look out Bruce who still didn't look completely satisfied with Tony. **

'**Tony… seriously, you don't look fine,' Bruce said. Tony looked at him for a second and then turned around picking up his screwdriver and walking over to the table, placing the screwdriver into his tool box. He then turned around to Bruce. **

'**Like I said, am fine and stop worrying mother hen,' Tony said walking back over to Bruce. Bruce sighed, he wasn't going to get Tony to talk. **

'**Fine, if you say you're ok, you're ok. But Tony please get a shower and come upstairs and eat something proper. You know, not just Dummy's smoothies… But I most thank him because Dummy's smoothies are the only think that is keeping you alive and healthy,' Bruce said getting up and walking to the door. 'Please Tony,' Bruce said and walked out of the door and walked to the lift. **

**Tony sighed and looked down at himself. He did need a shower and some new clothes and some food and something to drink. He knew Bruce would come down to his lab tomorrow if he didn't come upstairs for some proper food. **

'**Sir, may I suggest you do follow Dr Banner's advice and go take a shower.' Jarvis said. Tony laughed. **

'**You really want me to Jarvis,' Tony said. **

'**Yes I really do want you to sir,' Jarvis replied. Tony smirked. **

'**Ok, anything for you Jarvis,' Tony said walking over to the door. **

'**Jarvis, lights,' The lights went off the moment Tony opened his mouth. Tony smiled at the darkness and turned to get into the lift. He got into the lift to go straight up to his floor. He got a shower and then decided to go and get some food. He got into the lift and down to the kitchen floor. The doors opened and everyone stared at him. Bruce looked up from his book and smiled from the floor when he saw Tony walk out of the lift. Tony ignored everyone stares and walked to the fridge. He pulled out the leftover Chinese takeaway and sat down at the table his back to everyone else. He ate the food and then got up. He threw the empty box into the trash and turned to look at everyone, they were all still staring at him. He looked at Bruce and then up at Clint. **

'**Clint I'm sorry,' Tony said and then walked back to the lift. **

'**It wasn't your fault,' Clint called after him. Tony stopped and turned around. Clint smiled. Tony blinked and the shrugged. He walked to the lift and went back down to the lab. Jarvis open the door for him and then the lights flickered on. **

'**Thanks Jarv,' Tony said. **

'**Any time sir,' Jarvis replied and Tony chuckled. **

**Clint did say it wasn't my fault, but when Natasha looked at Clint when he said that. I could tell Natasha still thought it was my fault and that didn't change for a long time. But yeah that was an awkward time then when I came up to eat the leftover Chinese takeaway, I could tell Natasha wanted me to stay down in my lab. But it is my Tower so I was going to walk around in my birthday suit and I don't care what she thinks, if she doesn't like it then she could get the hell out. I had to admit she did scare me a little though. Only a little. Don't write that down, mate, she would laugh forever if she found out I had said that. I'm Iron Man am not scared of anything… well except from an angry red head assassin and girlfriend now and then Hey that reminds me. Pepper was angry with them when she got back from her meeting in LA. It was funny, you should have seen the look on Steve's face. Here let me explain… **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks of the reviews, i love that you are liking my story so far.**

**Chapter 4**

**Pepper had called me up two days after I showed my face in the kitchen. She was wanted to know why I was in my lab and not talking to anyone. She had said that Bruce had phoned her up, telling her that he was worried about me. I got an ear full about how I was risking my health with just drink Dummy's smoothies and not eating proper food. So I told her what happened and why I was in my lab all the time, and she soften up… only to me though, to the Avengers was a different story. **

**Pepper walked into the tower. She had come back from her two week trip to LA. She had been in meeting after meeting in LA and she wasn't in the mood to argue with. Her heals clicked on the floor and she walked into the lift. She walked out of the lift and into the living room. She found Clint and Natasha there. Steve and Thor were sat at the kitchen table and Bruce was making a coffee. **

'**Right all of you…' Pepper said loudly and got everyone's attention. They looked up at her. She smiled. 'Am very tired and I want to see my boyfriend and then go to bed to sleep. She if you would please just listen and then you can explain.' She said, getting a few raised eyebrows from Natasha and Clint. Pepper walked over and sat on the sofa turning her body so she was facing everyone. **

'**Bruce called me to say that he was worried about Tony and how he was staying in his lab and not coming out of it. At first I thought that this is just Tony being Tony that's fine. But when I phoned Tony up he told me why he was staying in his lab. And ok, he did nearly kill Mr Barton, but he would never up any of you in danger. But he also said it wasn't just because of the mission and what happen. It was because he heard you all on the helicarrier. Please by now you should know how Tony is. He's is a little self-centred and annoying and arrogant but he does break once in a while, but you don't see. It's only me that actually sees it because he hides it from everyone else… including all of you,' Pepper said, she nodded and got up. **

'**Anything to say?' She asked. No-one said anything. 'That's what I thought. Now if you excuse me, am going to see if my boyfriend is ok.' With that Pepper turned around and walked into the lift and went down to the lab. Steve just stared looking at the lift doors as they closed, his mouth opened slightly. Natasha just glared at Pepper while she walked out. **

'**Well… that, that was unexpected,' Clint said. Natasha looked at him. **

'**It was very unexpected. She doesn't know… she wasn't there, so she doesn't know that you nearly did die,' Natasha said getting up and walking out of the room. Clint let out a low whistle. **

'**Cat fight,' Clint whispered and smiled to himself. **

**Pepper entered the code and walked into the lab. Tony was working on the car in the far left corner. He looked up when he heard Pepper walk over to him. His face lit up when he saw her. He smiled. **

'**Well hello,' Tony said putting down his tools and wiping his hands. Pepper smiled back at him.**

'**Hello,' Pepper said. She walked over to him and kissed him. She looked into his eyes. **

'**Tony?' **

'**Yes?' **

'**Tony… you look terrible. You haven't been sleeping have you? Have you eat, please tell me you have been eating something.' Pepper said. Tony chuckled **

'**Yeah I have,' Tony said pulling her into a hug. She pulled away. **

'**Tony? I know you. I know that you haven't been sleeping that well have you. You're not having nightmares again?' Pepper said. She looked upset and concerned for Tony.**

'**No, am fine,' Tony said. Pepper looked him in the eyes again. He felt uncomfortable, he didn't want to have this conversation now. **

'**Tony please…' Pepper started but Tony interrupted her. **

'**Pepper I am fine. You and Bruce are like mother hens,' Tony said turning around and picking up his tools. He walked back over to the car, Hoping Pepper would just leave it. Pepper sighed from behind him. **

'**Well ok then… I'm going to get a shower, I'll order some Italian too and you're going to eat it and if you don't come upstairs to eat, I'll drag you up there,' she said. She turned around and walked to the door. She stopped and turned to look at Tony.**

'**Love you,' She said. Tony smile.**

'**Yep, love you too,' Tony said. Pepper walked away and out of site. Tony dropped his tools and sat on the floor his back pressed up against the wall and his knees pulled up to his chest. He placed his arms on his knees and berried his head in his hand. It was getting harder for him to breath, his breathes becoming sharp in his chest. **

**Anxiety attack, he thought. **

**Deep breaths, he told himself over and over again. He slammed his eyes shut, trying to shake the feel off. He hadn't had an attack in months and he wasn't going to have one now, he told himself. He thought about how he was doing so well and Pepper told him every morning that she was so proud of him. He said the same back to her. He wouldn't be anyway without her. She had saved his life at Stark Industries that time when Obadiah had gone crazy with his suit and tried to kill Tony. She was everything to him. Deep breathes, Tony told himself. **

'**Sir?' He heard Jarvis say from far away. Tony shook his head. He felt something bump into his left side. He jumped.**

'**Holy fu… oh Dummy,' Tony panted. Dummy was staring at him, he lifted his hand and patted Dummy. Dummy tilted his head. **

**His breathing went make to normal and so did his heartbeat. He slowly blinked. The light had blinded him went he had jumped and his eyes had short open to find Dummy stood next to him. He took a deep breath and looked around his lab. He looked at his suits over in the corner. He had some suits back at the mansion but he had picked his favourite suits to come to the Stark tower. He looked over at his table. It had sheets and sheets of work and drawings and ideas for new projects. He looked over to where Dummy had been stood. He saw the smoothies making where Dummy would try to make smoothies and end but spilling it, But he had to admit, whenever Dummy did finally make a smoothies and not actually spill it, the smoothies was really good. He smiled up at Dummy. Dummy lowered his head so it was level to Tony's. If the robot could smile, tony knew that it would be smiling at him right now. Tony sighed and got up. Stumbling a little on his shaky legs. He walked over to the table and sat down. Dummy moved over to the smoothies making and started to make one. It was as if Dummy had just read his mind. Tony put his head in his hands. He heard a smash and looked up and stared at Dummy. Tony broke out in huge laughter. Dummy had just chuffed his head in the smoothie machine and then lifted his head up and the smoothies had poured all over the poor robot. **

'**Here let me help,' Tony said getting up and lifting the smoothie machine off of Dummy. **

'**I don't know what I would do without you Dummy,' Tony said and put the smoothie machine back down on the side. Tony smiled at Dummy, he turned around and walked towards the sofa. **

'**Sir, am I suggest that you tell Miss Potts about you panic attack,' Jarvis said. **

'**Nah, it wasn't even really a panic attack Jarv. Ok. Don't get worried about it,' Tony said. **

'**It was as important as any other panic attack you have had, But if you don't want to tell her that's fine,' Jarvis replied. **

'**Jarvis, seriously,' Tony said. **

'**Ok… shutting down sir,' Jarvis said, and he shut down. Tony laid down on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. Well it was only a small attack, no need to tell Pepper, Tony thought. He closed his eyes wishing that today would just end…**

**Yep, I do love Dummy. I should have up to dated him when I came to pick him up when I got back from fighting the Mandarin, but I didn't really wanted to, I like him the way he is, even though he isn't that smart or anything, but still he makes amazing smoothies so I can't complain. Ha. Oh and I know I should have been a little friendlier to Jarvis, he was only worried about me, and who wouldn't be. A genius like me, people should be worried about me, wait… that's a bit big-headed, right? Oh well. Yeah I know, I really should have told Pepper about the panic attack. If I had then maybe… just maybe… my story would have ended differently… **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Pepper came down to the lab. She walked over to Tony who was lying on the sofa staring up at the ceiling, deep in thought.**

'**Tony?' Pepper said leaning over him. Tony didn't hear her. She sat down on the floor back pressed up against the sofa, next to Tony's face. She opened the box of pizza she had brought down for them to eat. She decided to let Tony stay in the lab to eat, but she would drag him up to their floor to get some sleep when they had finished eating. **

**The smell of the pizza drifted up to Tony. He blinked and then looked down and saw Pepper looking at him, only a few centimetres away from his face. He saw the pizza in her hands. He smiled. **

'**You're amazing you know,' Tony said sitting up. Pepper smiled.**

'**Thank you,' she laughed at him. She handed him a slice of pizza. They eat their first piece in silence. Pepper looked at him while he leaned over to take another piece. She turned around towards him. **

'**Tony, you know you can tell me anything,' Pepper said. Tony stared at her. **

'**Yeah I know I can,' Tony said smiling at her. Pepper sighed. **

'**Tony I know your hiding something.' **

'**I'm not hiding anything,' Tony said. **

'**Ok,' Pepper said. She knew, hopeful, that Tony would tell her soon what was a matter with him was. She knew she shouldn't push him; she didn't want him to get upset. They ate the rest of the pizza in silence. When they finished, Pepper stood up and put the empty pizza book in the bin. She then walked back to Tony, pulling him up by his arm. She pulled him to the lift, with a little complaining from Tony. They got up to their floor and went to bed. Tony slept surprisingly well. **

**Well not that well. I did have one kind of nightmare. I was feeling like I was trapped but it was such me. I got tangled up in the blanket you see, that's why I felt like I was trapped that was it… **

**When Tony woke, Pepper had already gone to work. Stark was feeling like he should really go to Stark Industries. It was his company anyway. He rolled over and fell back to sleep. He didn't realise how tired he was. **

_**Tony was sat at the kitchen table. His father was up in his office. Father said Tony wasn't aloud. Tony sat at the kitchen table, playing with his toy car that he rolled right to left across the table. Tony heard his father raise his voice. **_

'_**I told once before, Maria, I can't spend my time bloody baby-sitting and playing with Tony!' Stark said down the phone to Tony's mum. **_

'_**Oh…oh really… fine!' Howard shouted at Maria and then hung the phone up. Tony sat at the kitchen table. A tear ran down his check. **_

_**The dream changes. Howard Stark is sat at his office desk. **_

'_**Captain America? You want to know about Captain America?' Howard said to Tony.**_

'_**Yes,' He replied. Howard sighed. **_

'_**Well… Captain America, he is my closest friend. He is amazing in so many people's eyes in America and in my eyes…' Howard said. Tony stared up at his father as he rambled on about who great this Captain America was… Tony, only age 5, saw that in his father's eyes that he was disappointed in Tony and would do anything for a son like Captain America. **_

_**Whoever this Captain America was, Tony knew he was a hero. But Tony… Tony didn't like him one bit. His father preferred Captain America as a son…**_

_**The dream chances again. Tony is sat in a dark room. The only light there is, is from the tinny candle in the middle of the room. The darkness is scary, it engulfs him. He doesn't like the feeling. No-one there to help him. Tony covers his face. He feels trapped. He wants the candle light to spread and help him. The light is the only thing keeping him safe, without the candle he would be lost… lost forever. The candle blows out and the darkness surrounds him and he is lost…**_

**Tony wakes up. He is panting and covered in sweat. The blankets tangled around him and were clinging to him. He pulls them off him and he stares up at the ceiling. His five year old self was right. His father did prefer Steve as a son more than him. He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. He put his head in his hands and tried to get his breathing back to normal. It took him over ten minutes to get his breathing and heartbeat back to normal. He stood up, shaking on his legs as he did. He got dressed. He wanted something to eat and to do that he would have to go down to the floor where the rest of the Avengers were there. He sighed, he would have to go down. He walked to the lift. He got to the floor level and walked out. He stopped when he heard talking.**

'…**Well it's not my fault' He heard Clint say. **

'**No it's not, It's Starks fault.' He heard Natasha say. **

'**Ok, guys can we just drop it. Starks not going to forgive us soon if we keep saying it was his fault.' He heard Steve say. 'Ok, Yes his annoying and is sulking-'**

'**Like a five year old,' Natasha added.**

'**But he still is our friend and being his friends we shouldn't talk behind his back,' Steve continued. **

'**Yeah well, even if you didn't stop talking behind my back I would know. Jarvis tells me everything. And I mean everything.' Tony said walking out for behind the corner and walking to the fridge. Everyone jumped at his sudden arrival. They were sat around the coffee table, no doubt having another discussion about Tony again. Tony grab some cereals. **

'**So, care to tell me why your talking behind my back?' Tony said trying hard to keep his mask up and pretend that he didn't care that they were talking about him behind his back. No-one answered his question. **

'**No-one wants to tell me then, too scared?' Tony asked, he had placed the box of cereal down on the bar and was looking at them all. They all just stared at him. Bruce looked upset. If Tony looked close enough he could swear that he could see green in his friend's eyes. Tony really didn't want a welcome from the Hulk. Bruce was having trouble in keeping the other guy in when it came to the Avengers and Tony Stark. Hulk loved Tony, Bruce and Tony didn't know why. They both just said it was to do with Bruce and Tony's strong friendship. He knew Bruce wouldn't have joined in the conversation. He could tell that he hadn't because Bruce was sat in the love set, reading a book and had only looked up from it when only had placed he cereals down on the bar. Plus Tony trust Bruce just enough to know he wouldn't talk about Tony behind his back. Natasha looked pissed, like usually then, Stark said to himself. Clint still had his leg in a bandage and Thor was sat with his hammer tightly in his hand. Steve was going redder by the second. **

**Tony chuckled, 'Fine ok, no-one wants to tell me, fine.' Tony said, he picked up the box of cereal. He looked over to Steve and quickly turned away to walk out of the door. Steve had seen it. Only for a second. Only for a moment before Tony had turned around. Steve had seen the pain in Tony's eyes. Stark was hurting and Steve knew it was because of them. Tony had let his mask drop for a second, not wanting anyone to see the pain. **

'**Stark,' Steve stood up and followed Tony out the door and to the lift. **

'**Stark,' Steve called out. Tony finally turned around when he had got to the lift. **

'**What Rogers?' Tony replied harshly. **

'**We're sorry, we're sorry if we hurt you. WE just thought that you would sulk for a bit and then be back to your old self. But well… you not.' Steve said. Tony stared at him, emotionless. **

'**Look, I saw it. You let it drop from only a moment. Please Stark, we are sorry for talking about you behind your back. We urly are sorry Tony, Steve said, pouting a little bit. If Tony wasn't mad at him he would have laughed because of the pout on Steve's face.**

'**Yeah well sorry doesn't count,' Tony said and got into the lift, leaving Steve blink at the doors as they closed.**

**Ok, there I can see how I was a bit harsh towards Spangles there. He was only trying to apologise. Butt he really didn't have to apologise. It was really Natasha that had to, but aa not saying it was her fault that I… well finished my story what way… but still it would have been nice if she had apologised but I wasn't going to walk up to her and make her… She is a little scary. They had really broken my trust. I mean I didn't trust them 100% before, but now I don't really trust them at all. I still would trust them with having my back and everything, it was just that…I… well I don't know why I'm telling you this… you know… that I have trust... how did you up it… 'issues'. Hey you can't kill me from not wanting to trust people fully… I really shouldn't that about killing should I…. no… see answered my own question. Anyway yeah, so after that 'moment' with Steve I wondered back to the lab and just sat there working on the arm of my new suit. I did also get to see Dummy drop another three smoothies. The first two were hilarious, but the last one not so much. Bloody smoothie got all over my sheets of paper I had on the side. I forgive him, I really should know better when it came to placing my sheets near the smoothie machine. Ha… I got to pee me back in a minute. **


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok this chapter took me a long time to write it because at first i didn't really like it, but i made some changes and i think it's better now. Hope you like**

**Chapter 6**

**Hey so am back. Sorry about that. Ha. You don't mind, no thought not. Yep back to the story then. Well… I had slept in the lab again. I feel safe there… well I normally do, that night I didn't…**

'**Sir,' Jarvis said. Tony shuffled on the sofa, not waking up.**

'**Sir,' Jarvis said again. Tony span off the sofa with a scream and landed on the cold floor of his lab. He looked over to the window. Still dark. Tony sat up ad rubbed his back. **

'**Sir, are you ok?' Jarvis said.**

'**Yeah, just fell of the sofa,' Tony said leaning his back against the sofa. **

'**No, sir I mean are you ok? you were having a nightmare,' Jarvis said. Tony blinked. He remembered. Loki was stood laughing down at Tony as he fell through the portal. Loki was everywhere laughing, evil grin on his face. Tony couldn't shake him out of his mind. He hated that baster.**

**Tony shook his head. The portal not this again… He stood up and stretched his arms up and yawned. He realise how he had been sleeping funny and his back was killing him. He walked over to his suits.**

'**Let' go for a ride Jarvis,' as Tony said this, the suit in front of Tony light up and wrapped around him. The screen came to life. He flew out of the Stark Tower and out into New York. Tony flew up high. He looked down on New York. He had always loved New York but he didn't feel being there. Lights flashed under him as he pushed his suit faster. The lights of New York left him. He knew where we was going…**

**After a while he landed back onto the ground. He walked inside with his suit on. The lights turned on as he walked inside. The face mask lifted on his suit. He sighed. Home sweet home. He walked out of the suit and flopped onto the sofa in his mansion. He could see the sun rising from where he sat. He looked around the house and then looked at his suit. He had blown up all his suits, but that wasn't going to stop him from building more. He had done it to show Pepper that he loved her more than anything. While they were blowing up he couldn't look. They were his life really. He really wouldn't be here without them. He had got out of the cave with a suit he had made from scraps. Defeated Ivan with them and saved Peppers life the same night. He had stopped the shield aircraft from crashing to earth and saved the world with the help of… what he thought were friends… now he wouldn't believe they were his friends anymore…just some people that lived in his tower now. **

**He got his phone out to check the time. **

_**9 missed calls. 4 new texts. **_

**What? Bruce had called him 5 times, Steve 3 times and Clint once. What did they want. He read the text messages.**

_**Hey Stark where are you – Bruce**_

_**Hey Tony, Bruce said you weren't in your lab. – Clint**_

_**Hello TOOONNY! You haven't run off have you – Clint.**_

_**Stark you better text back soon or am taking one of your suits and flying to find you – Bruce.**_

**Tony chuckled at the last text Bruce in one of his suits. That would be hilarious and if the Hulk came out, even more funny. He dialled Bruce's number, speed dial 2. Pepper was number one, like always.**

**The phone didn't even get to finish the first ring before Bruce had picked it up.**

'**Where are you?' Bruce said straight away. **

'**Nice to talk to you too Brucie,' Tony said.**

'**Yeah yeah, nice to talk to you too, Where are you?' Bruce asked again.**

'**Why do you care?' Tony asked.**

'**Because we were worried you had run off or something,' Bruce said.**

'**WE,' Tony repeated. Bruce sighed.**

'**Yes, we… as in the rest of the Avengers,' Bruce said.**

'**Oh really you all were worried about me, ha like I can believe that Natasha would be glad that I ran away,' Tony said. **

'**So, you ran away,' **

'**No, I flew away,' Tony chuckled and Bruce sighed. **

'**Stark…' **

''**Brucie…' **

'**Stark we were worried. I came down to your lab and you won't there. I thought something bad had happened. I looked up on your floor and you weren't there either.' Bruce said sounding concerned.**

'**So only you were worried about me, they don't care.' Tony said bluntly. **

'**No Tony yeah do care about you,'**

'**Oh really,' Tony said, feeling a bit annoyed.**

'**Yes they do,'**

'**OK whatever Bruce, I'll be back soon,' Tony hung up just as Bruce I had said Stark wait… Tony stood up and walked back to his suit. He felt a bit shaky again. They won't worried about him. They were only worried that they won't have Iron Man on their team. Not worried about Tony Stark, no, just the suit, Tony told himself. He breathed in deeply before stepping into the suit. He always thought the suit as Jarvis. Jarvis had legs and a body and arms and everything. Every time he stepped into the suit he felt like Jarvis was giving him a hug and he really needed one right now. Tony could feel that he was breaking again… Ever so close to finally crumbling like he did last year. Every time he talked to one of the Avengers, his so called friends, he felt like a little bit of him was crumble to the ground. He sighed pushing the thought out of his mind. **

**I wasn't going to snap, Tony told himself. He never wanted to go back to that place. The place where he was only a couple of months ago. He would force himself not to think about the panic attacks that he had. He just took deep breaths to get through it. And he could because he was Tony Stark, IRON MAN and he could do anything because he was amazing.**

**He decided he didn't need to fly straight back to the tower, so he took de-tour. He knew where he was going and when got that, the suit was on low power. He hovered a little away from the house. The kid ran out, a massive grin on his face. H was followed by three boys his age a girl. A cute girl, in fact... Tony smiled as the kids ran into the garage. The three boys ran in. Harley turned around and let the girl go in first. The girl smiled and so did Harley.**

**Get in there Harley, Tony thought as Harley turned to walk in to the garage. Harley stopped. He span around and saw Tony. Harley eyes widened and then he smiled. Tony waved and then put a thumbs up. Harley smiled and put thumbs up to iron man. Ton flew and back to the tower. He got back to the tower and landed on the roof. More like stumbled onto the roof and fell on his face. The suit packed in. He smiled as it opened and he got out. He sighed at it and then remember where he was. The Tower. The Avengers were a few floors below him. He really didn't want to go down there. He hated it. He couldn't trust them anymore. He sighed and laid down on the roof floor and looked up at the sky again. It had turned to nightfall again. He stared up at the stars. He blinked and fell asleep.**

'_**You don't trust us, fine. You shouldn't, we all hate you anyway.' The voice was cracked through the silence. Tony couldn't make out who it was. **_

'_**Yeah, your annoying, arrogant, self-centred.' **_

'_**Don't forget self-obsessed.' Some one said through the darkness. Tony laid on the floor and staring up at the darkness, scared.**_

'_**Oh don't tell me… your scared… really,'**_

'_**Aww, you scared. Well you should be. Tony Stark. The get Tony Stark, genius, Billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, the fantasist greatest superhero of all time, IRON MAN is scared..'**_

'_**Not that strong are you,' the voice rang though the loudest out of all of them. This voice was the loud.'You never were that strong were you, I'm ashamed to call you my son,' Howard Stark leaned over him.**_

_**'Always weak, Always trying to be the best with stupid toy inventions. Your weak and unworthy to be called me son,' Howard said grabbing hold of Tony shoulders. Tony screamed.**_

**He woke up to the morning sun shining down on him. He blinked as the sun blinded him. He breathed in deeply. His heart was pounding against his chest as tears were shining in his eyes. Tony got up and grabbed hold of the edge, feeling like he was going to vomit... He did. **

**He breathed in deeply after he had finished. He wiped his mouth and sat down on the edge of his tower. He closed his eyes, his breathing still shaky. He didn't want this anymore. He didn't want to be defeated by some super nightmare, but it still got to him. All the nightmares, the panic attacks, everything. He sighed and looked behind him. New York was buzzing down below him. He looked down… maybe I could…. Tony thought.**

Please Review guys!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

**Maybe I should… You know end it right now… all of it… I mean I could if I really wanted to. I have had enough of it. Tony thought. He leaned over the edge and stared down at the street floor... It was so simple… but… but then it wasn't. **

**Steve was sat on the sofa next to Bruce. Only the two of them were up this early. The rest of them were asleep. They sat there in silence. Both of them not wanting to talk, just happy not saying anything. They waited for Tony to come back he hadn't. They waited and waited and waited.**

'**Mr Rogers… Dr Banner…' Jarvis said, making them both jump when Jarvis broke the silence.**

'**What is it Jarvis?' Bruce asked.**

'**Mr Tony is on the roof,' Jarvis said. Bruce and Steve looked at each other. Both of them were wondering the same thing. Why was Tony on the roof? **

'**I fear he is going to do something very bad' Jarvis said. They both jumped up, understanding why Tony was on the roof. Bruce looked over to Steve.**

'**May a success that only one of them go up there, Tony isn't in a good state. I fear if you both go up, Tony may feel like he is outnumbered and…'**

'**You go,' Bruce said to Steve. He knew if Bruce went up he would lose his temper and then the other guy would show up and. He couldn't think about the ending of it. Steve nodded knowing what Bruce was thinking. Steve walked to the lift and went to the top floor. He walked down the corridor and up the stairs. He opened the fire door. He slowly walk out onto the roof, he didn't want to scare Stark. He looked around and he turned to his left and saw Tony. He was stood on the edge of his tower, staring blankly down at the street. Steve slowly walked up to Tony staying a couple of meters away from him. Steve cleared his throat. Tony didn't move.**

'**Stark…' Steve said. Tony blinked. Steve took a step forward and Tony didn't do anything. **

**'Tony...' Steve said. **

'**Tony, ****you ok?' Steve said, not really knowing what to say. Tony chuckled. Confusion appeared on Steve's face. Tony turned his head, so Steve could see him. Steve looked at him, shocked. Tony was covered in sweat. His eyes were blood shot and he had bags under them. **

**'Do i look ok?' Tony whispered. Tony's hands were shaking. Tony heart thumbed hard against his chest. His chest hurt where the Arc reactor was and Tony couldn't see the point in having it in anymore. Tony pulled it our of his chest and throw it onto the roof ground. Steve froze and watched, as the arc reactor fell to the ground... Steve sighed in relief, thankfully it wasn't broken. Steve took a step forward, going to get the arc reactor. Tony froze and stared at Steve. **

'**No… stop there…' Tony said tears in his eyes.**

'**Sorry…' Steve said and he took a step back and held his hands up as if in surrender. Tony just stared at him, not really looking at him, his eyes just blank. The pain in his chest began to hurt more and his breath was becoming more staggered and getting harder to take. **

'**Please… Tony come down from there and we can talk,' Steve said. Tony shook his head. He didn't want to get down. He wanted to stay where he was. not moving and just standing there until his heart gave in and he collapsed and died... falling of the edge, not caring which way he fell. Concrete ground or graveled roof.  
**

'**Ok… let's.. let's talk here then,' Steve said. Tony nodded, not saying a word.**

'**Now… do you really think this is good idea Tony…' Steve said. Tony didn't do anything. **

'**Please Tony…' Steve said quietly not wanting to scare Tony. Tony's left foot shuffled closer to the edge of the tower. **

**'Tony...' Steve and stepped forward. He wanted to help him, he truly did. He wanted to grab hold of Stark and pull him back down onto the graveled roof before Stark made the stupid decision and jumped off the roof. **

**'I told you...to... stay...where you... are,' Tony panted and his right foot shuffled towards the edge as he said it. His chest began to tighten put and Tony felt like he was trapped. **

**'Look... sorry,' Steve said taking a step back. **

'**Please tell me… You know you can tell me,' Steve said. Tony didn't say anything for a bit.**

** Tony's breathing was uneven still and tears were attempting to roll down his face, but Tony was trying to force them back. A few minutes passed and Tony's last mask, the thinnest one broke and reveled Tony true self.**

** For once Steve saw Tony, the proper Tony Stark. Tony Stark, he was only one person. He had dropped his mask completely, don't caring that Steve was staring at him. Tony for once just stood there letting Steve see the real him. Tony was only human and he couldn't deal with it anymore. Steve could see it in his eyes, in his face. the pain in it that Tony all these days, months, years in fact had been keeping lock up and not letting it out. Only getting away from it when he was drunk. Steve didn't even know if Pepper had seen Tony like this before, maybe she had, maybe Tony had kept it from her, not wanting to frighten her. He felt so small stood there looking down on New York. He felt himself shrink. He had had enough with it. He couldn't stand it anymore. Everyone wanted something from him. The world wanted him t save there lives last year and they would soon want him to do it again. They were asking too much. One man, to save billions of people's lives. 7 billion people's lives counted on him that day and he risked his life and nearly died to save theirs. But Tony wasn't strong enough anymore to do it again. He was only one person and they all wanted to much from him. He couldn't do it anymore. He had had enough and he just couldn't do it. His heat beat quicken and his breath became more and more staggered and thoughts drifted in and out of his head. Steve could see that Tony was having a panic attack and having a panic attack, stood on the edge of the Stark Tower and also on the risk of suicide, was a bad idea. **

'**Tony, you safe, ok, no-one is going to hurt you Tony.' Steve said. 'Please Tony, your safe and you shouldn't do this.' Steve said. Tony turned away from him, taking deep breaths. He stared down at the ground. His mind was completely blank. Steve didn't know what to say, he had never done this before, which was good that he hadn't tried to talk someone out of suicide. But bad because this was Tony Stark who was going to commit suicide if he didn't say the right things. **

**'No... no...no... to many people...want...me... me... to save... their lives,' Tony mumbled to himself. Steve was trying, he was trying so hard to get Tony to come down from the ledge by himself. If Tony came down by himself then Tony will have realized by himself, that this was a stupid idea. But Steve had a feeling that Tony might not come down if Steve didn't pull him back.  
**

'**Tony…' Steve said, Tony heard this voice coming from what seemed so far away, he tried to listen to it. He tired to let it drown over his thoughts. He had had enough with his stupid thoughts, he just wanted some alcohol. **

**'Please Tony… just…just step off the edge and walk towards to me,' Steve said. Steve held out his hand not knowing why, Tony wasn't going to take his hand. **

**'Please Tony… think about this… think about this for a minute… Think of the people you'll hurt if you do this… Me, Clint, Natasha, Thor…Bruce…Pepper,' Steve said. **

**Tony heart broke…**

**Steve... it was Steve's voice that was talking to him. Steve who was there for him. Who was there... who was there trying to get him to come down. Steve didn't want Tony to die and Tony knew it. Steve was there when Tony risked his life last year. He had been the one to let Natasha to close the portal without Stark coming back. Steve was the one to close the portal, he was the one who told Natasha to close the portal on Stark and let Stark be lost forever in space, dead... but now here Steve was. Talking to Tony and telling him to come down. Helping him. Steve had to close the portal. He had to take charge and if he hadn't of told her to close the portal the blast from the missile would have effect them too. It was luck that brought Tony back through the portal. Steve had never forgave himself for telling Nat to close the portal... and will never forgive himself. He hadn't told anyone about how he will never forgive himself and how he felt guilt always raising when he looked at Tony... But Steve was here...**

**Tony's chest tighten even more and if Tony didn't do something, he would soon die anyway. **

** Bruce, Bruce. His ****scientist buddy. He couldn't leave his scientist buddy. Who would Bruce do science with. Bruce needed Tony and Tony really did need Bruce... He couldn't leave Bruce... If he did i feared that Bruce would loss it. The other guy would destroy the world if Tony died. Bruce would probable end up on the run again. He would end up living in some horrible place, trying to control his angry and the other guy from coming out again whenever he thought of Tony.**

**Oh Pepper. Why was he doing this. I loved Pepper and never wanted her to get hurt. He couldn't do it. He was breaking down and didn't want Pepper to see him like this ever. Oh Pepper... **

**Tony finally and fully... broke down...**

**'I've always been strong and tough, never letting anyone in,' Tony mumbled, 'you know that time when everything in the world gets you down, whether it's snapping a crayon or world hunger, and you just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Can't see a way out. My father would only be happy when he was talking about you Steve. He would hate me, think that I was worthless and you as some glorious king or something. I started to hate you, I hated you for being so amazing in my father's eyes. I have nightmares about it, and will always have a panic attack when I wake up and I seriously just can shake it. Well that's what it's like for me right now. That why I stand here, on top of my tower, arguing with myself on whether I should jump and feel peace or if I should suck it up and just walk away from the edge. So, you can see, am dropping my mask to show you my problems, let you in on my life. If so could help, that would be great, but if you have come up here to tell me that there is no point in jumping, then the only thing I have to do is step and then it's all on you. They will all blame it on you. So just listen and think. If you were me, What would you do Rogers? What would you do. Just listen… just listen and think. If you had the chance to have peace again, like going to see Peggy again, or your friend Bucky. To just get away from it all,' Tony said. He turned towards Steve. Steve had been silence and was froze to the spot, just listening to Tony pour at to him. Steve blinked.**

'**Erm...' Steve said. Tony stared at him. He turned away from Steve. He was broken and couldn't be fixed and that was it. Tony would to it. he would jump any second now. He would do it. Tony sighed and his chest tighten and his breath left him. **

'**You don't know do you,' Tony panted. **

'**No-one knows…' Tony said tears still rolling down his checks. He couldn't do it. He smiled and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped forwards. **

**THE END**

**HA, only messing. Ok, so am gonna leave you hanging for a bit. Because I'm that mean. Please review and tell me what you think. Took me a long time to write this chapter, i wanted to get it prefect, which i think it still isn't but i didn't want to leave you guys hanging any more. Love you all! xx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Bruce walked Steve walk into the lift. The doors closed and Steve disappeared upstairs. Bruce already wasn't in a good mood without Tony trying to commit suicide. Bruce slowly sat back down. He closed his eyes and his hands were balled up in fists. He took deep breaths. The other guy was trying to get out, trying to run and protect Tony. The other guy loved Stark and would do anything but to have Tony save. Bruce took another deep breath. Bruce was really worried, what if Steve couldn't get Tony to come down from the roof. He took another deep breath. He heard footsteps. He looked up thinking it was Tony and Steve but it wasn't. Clint came in, his leg fully back to normal. Clint sat down next to Bruce and turned the TV on. Bruce took the remote and turned the TV off.**

'**Hey, why you do that for. I was watching that if you hadn't noticed,' Clint said trying the grab the remote back. Bruce threw the remote across the room and stood up. He turned towards Barton. Clint saw the green in Bruce's eyes getting greener and greener. **

'**Hey, Banner calm ok, everything is fine,' Clint said, He really didn't want Hulk at this moment he was too tired to deal with it.**

'**Bu it's not, Tony's… ARH!' Bruce shouted, he put his head in his hands as he paced from right to left. Clint eyes widened. **

'**Tony's what?' Clint asked, knowing this conversation was going to end bad anyway. **

'**Tony's…. Tony's on the roof!' Bruce shouted. His nails digging into his palms.**

'**Tony's on the… roof,' Clint asked confused. His eyes widened even more when he realised what Bruce was saying. Tony was trying to commit suicide. **

'**Steve's up there with him, trying to get him to come down,' Bruce said. Clint nodded and swallowed. He walked over to Bruce and hugged him. **

**People were on the street, walking around New York. Just a normal day in New York City, Couples shopping together. Work people running down the street, shouting down the phone. The press hanging around trying to spot a celebrity. Yeah so just a normal day, well until.**

'**Holy cow. Is that Iron man!' someone shouted from the street. **

'**Oh my god, he's gunna jump,' someone else shouted.**

'**Jump! Jump! Jump!' a boy shouted. The girl next to him slapped him on the check. **

'**Shut up!' She shouted at him. He shrugged.**

'**I didn't mean it,' He said and looked up to the roof of the Stark Tower. The press by then had grabbed their cameras and were zooming in on the roof of the Stark Tower. They started to take pictures.**

'**Oh carp it really is him,' one of the man from the press said. There were gasps from all round the street. People stop talking the street was silent, even the people shouting down their phone had realised what everyone was looking at by now and had turned their phones off and was staring up at the roof. **

'**Should we do something,' someone said, the person next to them just shrugged.**

'**We should call the police,' someone said.**

'**What are they going to do?' Someone else said from one of the café...**

'**No-one knows…' Tony said tears still rolling down his checks. He couldn't do it. He smiled and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and stepped forwards. **

**The ground left his feet...**

**Steve saw Tony take a step forwards. Steve ran forward. He tried to grab him, before it was too late.**

**Tony felt someone grab his hand. **

**Steve ran forward and grabbed Tony's hand. He was leaning over the edge, holding Tony's hand. He looked at Tony.**

**Tony was stopped from falling. Steve had ran forward and grabbed his hand. Tony squeezed Steve's hand so tightly. He was holding on to Steve's hand for dear life. Tiny pulled his other hand and grabbed on to Steve's hand… **

**Tony realised what he had done. Why had he tried and almost done it, committed suicide. Steve still holding on to Tony, looked down at him just as Tony looked up. Steve could see the pain in Tony' eyes for Steve stopping him, and the relief that Steve had grabbed him. Steve pulled Tony up with his super-strength. Steve pulled Tony over the edge and back onto the ground. Tony's leg shook and he collapsed on to the floor. Tony gasped for air, his heart hurting and his eyes closed. Tony pulled his eyes back up and started to attempt to get to the arc reactor. He could reach it and Tony's hand fell to the floor and his eyes closed. **

**Steve grabbed the arc reactor. He pulled Tony around and placed the arc reactor back into Tony chest. The light flicked back on. Tony didn't move and he wasn't breathing. Steve leaned forward. **

'**Tony…' Steve said, one hand on Tony's chest. **

'**Tony…' Steve said again. Steve saw that Tony wasn't breathing. He was too late the arc reactor can't do anything, Tony had already gone. Tears filled Steve's eyes.**

**Tony's eyes flicked open and he gasped for air. He grabbed hold of Steve's arm. Tony sat up and breath heavily. Tony got up with Steve's help. They stood facing each other. **

**Tony stared at Steve for a second. The next thing Steve knew he had dark brown hair in his face, Steve being taller than Tony. Steve didn't know who long they had been stood there hugging but Steve just let Tony sob into his t-shirt and let it all out.**

'**What was I thinking… What was I thinking… why would I do that… why?' Tony Mumbled over and over again. Steve just stood there, arms wrapped around Tony. Steve had felt uncomfortable at first but quickly got used to it. Tony sobbed harder into his t-shirt. **

'**I'm stupid… I'm so stupid,' Tony repeated over and over again. Steve just rubbed Tony back, letting Tony get it all out. What felt like over an hour of standing there hugging, Tony finally pull back****.**** He looked behind him, at the edge and walked away from it. He walked to the door and sank onto the floor, his back press against the wall next to the door. He pulled his knees up and hugged them. He closed his eyes. He moved his hand, gesturing for Steve to come over and sit next to him. Steve sat down next to Tony and put his hand on Tony's back.**

'**Just keep breathing. Deep breaths' Steve said. Tony looked up at Steve. His eyes were puffy and red, and he was covered in sweat and was shaking very bad. His sink was very pale, like a ghost. Steve stared at Tony. The man put his head back on his knees, squeezing his eyes tight shut. Tony shook his head gently. He felt like we was going to throw up again. Tony swallowed. Steve saw the hint of green in Tony's very pale face. **

'**Let's…Let's go inside Tony,' Steve said getting up. Tony looked up and his stomach twisted as he tried to stand. **

**Tony tried to get up but his legs buckled and Steve had to grab him before he hit the gravelled ground face first. Steve pulled Tony up. Steve guided him to the door and the walked inside. The second they were inside Tony pulled away from Steve and went into the nearest room. Steve heard Tony vomit. He followed Tony into the room.**

'**You ok…' Steve said, already knowing Tony was way far from ok. Steve rubbed Tony backs, as Tony threw up. When he finished he pulled away and looked up at Steve.**

'**Sorry,' Tony whispered. **

**Steve helped Tony, who was shaking violently now, up and towards the lift. Steve helped Tony into the lift and pressed the button to make the lift go down to the floor Steve knew Bruce was on. Steve knew that Bruce and the other guy would like to see Tony was safe and no physically injured. **

**The doors to the lift opened up and revealed Bruce and Clint sat on the sofa. Clint telling Bruce to breathe deeply. Steve saw that there was a very strong hint of green on Banners skin. Tony stumbled into the room, Steve still staring at Banner. Steve's attention clicked onto Tony and he grabbed Tony before he fell face first again. **

**Clint and Bruce looked up when they heard Tony grunt. Bruce stood up as Steve led Tony to the sofa. Tony laid down on the sofa and curled up into a ball. Bruce walked over to the sofa and kneed down by Tony's head.**

'**Tony?' Bruce said and he put his hand on the man's arm. **

'**Can you hear me,' Bruce said. Tony mumbled, his eyes closed shut. Bruce nodded. He knew Tony was in a bad state right now and he knew Tony needed some rest.**

'**You get some sleep,' Bruce said and got up and walked over to Steve. Steve looked into Banners eyes. They had completely faded away. **

'**What happened?' Bruce whispered straight away, staring at Steve. Steve swallowed. **

'**Sit down, it's a long story,' Steve said. Bruce went and sat down next to Clint and Steve sat on the coffee table. HE told them both what had happen. Natasha and Thor had walked in half way through and were shocked when they heard what Tony only metres away sleeping peacefully had just nearly done. They all listened carefully to Steve as he went on and finished . Bruce looked over to Tony. Tony was stilled curled up in a ball , his mouth open slightly, but Bruce could see the pain expression on Tony face as he slept. **

'**What do we do now,' Clint said, pulling Banners thought away from Tony. **

'**Well we wait for him to wake up and then ask him to tell us why he nearly committed suicide,' Natasha said from where she stood. Shoulders pulled back, the same emotionless expression on her face. She had a feeling that when Tony woke up that he would say it was her fault. She closed her eyes.**

'**We should call lady Pepper, first,' Thor said. His voice louder than anyone else's. They all turned around to Tony, mumbled in his sleep and rolled over. **

'**Yes, I'll call her,' Steve said getting his phone out which Tony had given him. Steve dialled Peppers number. **

'**Hello, Pepper Potts,' Pepper said down the phone. Steve took a deep breath. **

'**Sorry to bother you Miss Potts,' Steve said to her.**

'**Oh, it's fine am on my way back to the Tower should be there in about five minutes,' Pepper smiled in the car. **

'**Well, erm… Miss Potts, Tony is very distressed and he…' Steve didn't know who to put it. **

'**What did he do?' Pepper asked. She knew Ton would have done something. Blown up his lab, not eaten in the two days she wasn't there, shouted at them**

'**Miss Potts,' Steve began.**

'**Just call me Pepper. Tony was found on the roof, and was on the edge of committing suicide. But don't worry, we got him off and away from the edge. He is now on the sofa in the living room fast asleep.' Steve said quickly, thinking it would hurt less if he said it quickly. Pepper froze.**

'**What?' she managed to chocked out. 'I'll be there as soon as I can, just make sure he is ok,' She said and hung the phone up. 'Happy, step on it, Tony has tried to commit suicide,' Happy's eyes widen and he drove as fast as he could. Pepper could feel tears rolling down her face. The car pulled up into the garage of the Tower. Pepper and Happy ran up to the living room floor. They found the Avengers sat on the sofa all looking very pale, except Bruce how still had a hint of green in his skin. Pepper saw Tony on the sofa. Pepper walked over to him and kneeled on next to him, holding his hand. She turned to the rest of the Avengers. **

'**Tell me everything,' she said.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Tony stirred and rolled over. He felt his sofa bedding under him. He pulled the blanket over his head and curled up in a ball. He wanted to go back to sleep. He pulled the blanket tight around him. The sunlight shone down on the bed and started to warm the room up. **

**After a bit Tony pulled the blankets off him. He was too hot. He laid on his back for a while. Just staring up at the ceiling. The bed looked too big. He didn't like it. He felt small laying there in the massive bed that he and Pepper shared. That reminded him. Where was Pepper?**

**He slowly rolled over and put his legs out and onto the cold floor. He got up and his legs shoke under him.. He walked to the door and notice the mirrior. He looked at himself. He looked terrible he had to admit it. His bag under his eyes had bags. And he looked very pale, like he was going to throw up. He sighed and pick up a shirt from the floor and covered the mirrior. He walked down to the stairs and went down to the living room floor, wanting to get something to eat and alone. He didn't want to be without her. He walked down the stairs and opened the door to the floor. **

**He heard voices coming from around the corner and in the living room. Tony listen in. **

'**Thank you Steve and Bruce if you hadn't been awake I can only imagine the worst,' Peppers voice came from around the corner. What was she on about? He walkd around the corner and everyone turned around to look at him. **

'**Tony your awake, it's ok your find,; Bruce said, he was sat on the sofa. Seriously what were these guys on about? Were they on drugs? Tony thought. He rubbed his eyes. Oh, he remembers now. He looked up at Steve, who smiled at him. **

'**Tha… Than… Thanks,' Tony managed to say. Steve nodded. Everyone was silent, not knowing what to say. He walked to the kitchen and got a glass of water. He turned and everyone was staring at him. **

'**What?' Tony said. Pepper saw the he had put his mask up again. She could see he was his normal self again, but only on the outside. She knew that Tony was breaking, he had already broken and she knew it would take a long time to put him back together. Tony stared at everyone.**

'**Your freaking me out guys,' Tony said and went to sit back on the sofa next to Bruce. **

'**Tony… do you no remember…. You… well you tried to commit suicide,' Bruce said. Tony looked down. Of course he remember but it doesn't mean that he wants to talk about it. He shrugged and turned the TV on. What showed but on the screen shocked him. All the rest of the Avengers and Pepper stared at the screen. **

'**Report say that Tony Stark, Iron Man, tried to commit suicide only yesterday afternoon. Picture shows that The Tony Stark, stood on the edge of the roof of The Stark Tower trying to commit suicide. Lucky when Tony Stark did jump, Captain America was there to save the day,' **

**The reporter said. Pictures came up of Tony stood on the roof of his Tower. He could see how he looked, god the press had good zoom on their cameras, Tony thought… He could see how he had let his mask slip and he could see tears in his eyes. Oh god, Steve must have seen it all. Yesterday was kind of a blur to Tony and he didn't really remember that much. But Steve must remember everything. Everything Tony had said to him. Tony wondered how Steve had been able to keep it together. But then he thought about it. He had jumped. He really had jumped. He was so stupid, why would he try take his own life? Yeah he knew that his life had been bad. Nightmares about his father beating him, his father thinking he was unworthy and how he would talk about Steve so much that Tony would hate this man, who had just saved his life. He had said he hated Steve for being so amazing in his father eyes. Oh god. **

**Tony put his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. He shut his eyes tightly. **

'**Tony… are you ok?' Steve said leaning forward in his chair. **

'**Yeah, I'm fine… I just… don't want to talk about it ok,' Tony mumbled into his hands. Pepper sat next to him and rubbed his back. Tony shook his head. **

'**Where is Toy Stark now? Is he mentally stable to be one of earths mightiest hero's anymore? Can Iron Man real defeat this? Who knows. Iron Man was the one who fell up into the portal and stopped the alien attack last year, but can he really be trusted and stable to be Iron Man?'**

**The report continued. Did n-one realise that Tony didn't want to listen to this dumb reporter. No-one turned it off and the report continued.**

'**Tony Stark is mentally unstable and shouldn't be trusted to be Iron Man anymore,' A guy said. **

'**So you don't think he should be Iron Man anymore?' The reported asked. **

'**No, I think that he tried to take his own life is enough to say he should not be Iron Man, the person who tries to save everyone else's lives when he doesn't want his own life,' The guy said. The reporter turned back to look down the camera. **

'**Well this wouldn't be the first time that Tony Stark has suffered from depression, when only a few years ago Tony Stark had a break down in a press meeting, that he had arranged just after he got out of the Afghanistan cave, telling everyone he is cancelling Stark Industries and will not be building weapons anymore. Many people still don't know what happened in the Afghanistan cave but we can say that Tony Stark changed and left his old self down in that cave…' The reported was about to continue but Tony had had enough.**

'**Will someone turn this shit off!' Tony shouted at them, making everyone jump. Clint jumped forward and grabbed the remote, turning to TV off. Tony was shaking. He jumped up and walked to the bar. Everyone watched him, as Tony grabbed a bottle of scotch as stormed off down to his lab. They had all been to listening to the news reporter, and they all wanted to know more about Tony's break down in the press meeting. Only Pepper knew that he didn't have a break down because she was the only one there, except for Agent Coulson. **

**Natasha could see tears in Peppers eyes. Natasha stood up and went to sit next to her. Natasha hugged Pepper, as she cried into Natasha shoulder. Clint blinked at Natasha, Clint couldn't believe it, Natasha was never to comforting type. Steve looked at them and then at Bruce. **

'**Give him some time. Will go down to see if he is ok in a bit. He just needs time to calm down,' Bruce says and Steve nods. **

**Tony needed time to calm down, yeah Bruce was right. He wasn't in the best mood to go and talk to him. They knew Tony would be down there working on whatever he works on. They would go down in about two hours, letting Tony calm down and relax a bit.**

Sorry for the late update on the last chapter. I'm terribly sorry. I hope you liked this chapter and the chapters to come. I promise to update soon. Please review and I love you all


	10. Chapter 10

**Hope you like this chapter. Warning strong language. Hope you like... **

**Chapter 10**

**Tony stormed out of the room feeling everyone's eyes on him as he walked. He walked down the stairs not wanting to take the lift. **

**Tony stormed down to his lab, the bottle of scotch clenched tightly in his hand. He walked into lab, Jarvis opening the door for him before he even had stepped off the bottom step. Tony opened the bottle not even needing a glass. He took some large swallows of scotch and then worked over to the car he had been working on. He looked at it and took another swing from his bottle. He saw the Iron Man suits in the corner of his eyes and he turned to face them.**

'**Unstable to be Iron Man,' Tony spat. He worked over to his suits and looked at them. He took another drink from the bottle in his right hand. He stared at them. He felt like he was having a staring match with them and he was going to lose. **

'**I didn't have a bloody break down in the press meeting, Fucking news reporters, hate the lot of them,' Tony shouted.**

'**I'm the great Tony Stark, I defeated them idiots in the cave in Afghanistan, I have defeated Obadiah, I built the first Iron Man suit in a cave with scraps. I defeated Ivan and a whole alien race and Loki. I can sure defeat some stupid depression thing,' Tony shouted at the suit. He kicked one of them and then regretted it. **

'**ARRHH! Fuck, dammit,' Tony said hopping on one leg. And grabbing hold of the other. **

'**Sir, may I say for someone who calls themself genius you sure do, do stupid things,' Jarvis said. Tony chuckled.**

'**I know I do, but what's the fun of doing clever things,' Tony said. He turned around and worked to his desk. He remembers, he's angry that's what he was doing, not talking to Jarvis. He placed the bottler of scotch onto the floor. He looked at his desk. Piles and piles of paper that had drawings and ideas of next things to work on. Angry flashed in his eyes. He swept the pieces of paper of the table and then flipped the table over. Dummy watched from the corner as Tony went through his lab throwing things at the wall and flipping furniture over. Tony picked up a chair and threw it at the glass door which didn't shatter. Strong glass, Tony thought.**

'**Fine!' Tony shouted. He held up his arm and the arm piece to his suit came flying and attached to Tony's arm and hand. **

'**Test out this!' Tony shouted and blasted the glass and it shattered. Tony took of the arm of his suit and worked over to the glass and picked up the chair and threw it across the lab. As he picked up the chair, Tony cut his fist as he did it. He walked back over to his suits. He held out his arm and the arm of his suit flew over to him and fixed on to his arm. He aimed his palm at the suit in front of him and he fired and fired. **

**When he had done he fell back and walked backwards still staring at what he had done. Bits of his suit scattered his lab floor. The Iron Man helmet rolled towards the door. Tony backed up into the desk. He turned around and flipped the desk over. He panted and turned around to see the bottle of scotch still standing on the floor. Tony wondered how it had survived his rampage. He worked over to it and drank from the bottle and went to sit on the floor next Dummy. **

'**Sorry Dummy,' Tony said. Dummy looked like he nodded at him. Tony took another drink from the bottle of scotch, trying to drown his problems with alcohol.**

**An hour later Tony still sat on the floor next to Dummy and an empty bottle of scotch next to him. Tony stared blankly at the empty door frame, which he had smashed the door and the glass was scattered across the floor and some embedded in Tony's right fist. His mind blank and full of alcohol. **

**Bruce looked over to Steve and Steve nodded. They got up and walked down to Tony's lab. They got to the glass door and stopped. Glass was everywhere. Both men looked at each other, knowing that what they were going to find if going to be bad. They stepped inside. Both men stood still frozen. They looked around Tony lab. Furniture were flipped over, and smashed to piece. Paper scattered the floor of his lab and picture hanging of the wall. Bruce looked down and saw the Iron Man helmet right next to his left foot. He picked it up and looked at it. Bruce looked up at Steve. They both realised then, that Tony was going to be in a bad state when they found him…If they found him. **

**A bottle of empty scotch rolled across the floor. They both looked over to see Tony sat on the floor, and Dummy next to him. Two empty bottles of Vodka or Scotch, Bruce didn't know which, where next to Tony. Bruce walked over to him, while Steve stayed behind. Bruce bent down next to Tony. **

'**Tony… can you hear me?' Bruce asked putting his hand on Tony's shoulder. Bruce saw Tony was not in a good state. His eyes were glassed over, not focusing on anything. Bruce shook Tony gently.**

'**Tony… please…. Can you hear me?' Bruce said again, waiting for a response. After a couple of minutes, Tony nodded. Bruce sighed in relief. Bruce put his arm underneath Tony's Bruce looked over to Steve, who walked over help. They pulled Tony up. Tony stumbled over his feet and they held him up. They realised he was drunk. **

'**Get off me!' Tony shouted and pulled away from them. Making them both jump. Tony stumbled forward and landed on his hands and knees. **

'**ARH! Fuck!' Tony shouted, lifting his hands up and saw the glass digging into his hands. Blood rushed out of his palms. Bruce turned the sofa back over. Steve grabbed hold of Tony. **

'**Let go off me, you baster,' Tony shouted trying to pull away from Steve who just picked Tony up and placed him on the sofa. **

'**Look what you have done to my lab! It's a mess? You did this! All of this, everything is your fault!' Tony shouted and pointed at Steve. Tony tried to get up again but Bruce held him back down. **

'**Fuck you both! Fuck you all,' Tony shouted, his speak slurred. Steve went and got the first aid kit and Bruce clean Tony hands up, while Tony kept shouting at Steve, not noticing Bruce cleaning his hands up. When Tony finally stopped shouting, he looked around his lab. It was a mess. A Blank expression appeared on Tony's face. He held his hands over his mouth and Bruce ran to get the trash can. Tony vomited into it. Bruce sat next to Tony. Tony moaned and then threw up again. Bruce rubbed circles on Tony's back, waiting for Tony stop. Tony lifted his head and Bruce took the trash can and washed it out. **

'**Why?... why couldn't…. just why couldn't… he… just… why couldn't he just be a good… father?' Tony mumbled to himself, not realising that Steve and Bruce where there, while he laid down and closed his eyes. **

'**What do you want?' Stark snapped at the two of them. He opened his eyes and looked at Bruce. Tony sat up, his head spinning slightly.**

'**Sorry, we just wanted to see if you were ok,' Bruce said. Tony rolled his eyes. **

'**Well am fine so just leave me only!' Tony said raising his voice towards the end of the sentence. Steve stepped forward as Bruce sat back down next to Tony. **

'**Tony… please tell us the true… are you ok?' Steve asked. **

'**Ok, Rogers,' Tony said snarling when he said Rogers.**

'**Do I look ok to you? Come on just tells me, do you think I look ok? Look at my lab, do you think someone who was ok, would trash the only thing that they feel safe in. Cos if you believe that then…' Tony voice rambled on throughout the lab. Steve stepped back He knew he shouldn't be here, Bruce should be here but Steve no, Steve shouldn't be here. Tony had said that his father had always loved Steve and that Howard had said to Tony that he was worthless. Tony hated Steve. Tony hated him when he was a kid. Tony most hate him now. Steve had been good friends with Howard and Steve would never have thought that Howard would be so mean to a kid. Steve had knew Howard, but now after what Tony had told him, and it wasn't that much, Steve felt like he didn't even know Tony's father anymore. Steve felt like it was his fault Tony had been brought up badly. Howard had liked Steve, but not his own son. Steve felt really bad. He wanted to tell Tony he was sorry. Steve was so sorry.**

**Steve stepped back further and stumbled. He fell over. He had fallen over Dummy. Tony burst out laughing. Bruce jumped at how loud Tony was. Steve got up and rubbed his bum. Tony smiled at Dummy and then laid back down. Bruce lifted his arms up as Tony put his feet on Bruce lap. **

'**Look Tony, We're sorry, we have said sorry so made times but you don't except it do you, so again for the millionth time we're all sorry,' Steve said and walked out stepping on the piece of glass as he went. Bruce looked over to Tony.**

'**You except the apologise don't you,' Bruce asked Tony and Tony smiled and nodded. Bruce shook his head and got up, pushing Tony's legs off him as he got up. He knelt by Tony's head. **

'**What?' Tony asked. Bruce looked at him concerned..**

'**Are you ok? I mean it. Because on the outside you look fine back to youy only self like always the jokey and annoying person you are. But I can see that you aren't handling this. I can see on the inside that you're not back to your old self. Were here to help you if you need help ok,' Bruce said getting up. **

'**Now get some rest,' Bruce said. He walked over to the Kitchen and grabbed hold of the three bottles of scotch that was there. Bruce then walked over to the fourth that was sat on the desk which had managed to survive Tony's rampage. **

'…**And no more drinking,' Bruce said. 'Only for a while.' Bruce walked out of the lab, glass scrunching under his feet as he walked. **

**Tony rolled over and closed his eyes tightly. He felt sick….**

**Please review guys. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**The doorbell rang through the Tower making everyone jump and waking Tony up, who jumped and rolled off the sofa and onto the floor with a bang. Pepper got up from the kitchen table and walked to the lift doors. She was about to press the button but the lift to the doors open. Agent Hill closely followed by Agent Coulson stepped out on the floor. They walked passed Pepper and stopped in front of the TV screen. The Avengers all looked up at the two SHEILD agents in confusion. Bruce dropped his book down. Natasha just looked Agent Hill up and down. Thor, Clint and Steve just stared at the two. Pepper walked over and stood behind the sofa. **

**Tony was laying on the floor staring up at the ceiling. **

'**Sir, Agent Hill and Agent Coulson of SHEILD are here,' Jarvis said. **

'**Let me listen,' Tony said. Agent Coulson's voice echoed around the lab.**

'**Director Fury wants to see you all on the helicarrier right away, everyone,' Agent Coulson said. **

'**Even Tony Stark,' Agent Hill added. Bruce looked over at Steve. Steve had looked away when Agent Hill had said Tony Stark and Agent Hill noticed. She raised an eyebrow at him and turn her attention back at the other Avengers. She'll ask Steve later about it. Natasha leaned forward.**

'**Why did you come here to tell us that, you could have just phoned us,' Natasha asked, her expression cold. Agent Hill looked at her.**

'**Director Fury sent us here to make sure that all of you come up to the helicarrier and not just five of you,' Agent Hill said. **

'**And what if we don't want to come,' Natasha said leaning back into the sofa.**

'**Then we will use force.' Agent Coulson said. **

'**Why does he want to talk to us?' Natasha asked. Agent Hill sighed.**

'**Well, if you haven't been paying attention to what's happening in the Tower or haven't been keeping up with the news then you wouldn't know that Tony Stark tried to commit suicide. Trying to commit suicide when your Iron Man, is something Director Fury would want to know about and understand why the hell he did it. Ok? Do you now understand why we are here?' Agent Hill said looking over to Natasha. Natasha glared at her and if looks they probable both be dead by now. The two Agents both turned around and walked towards to lift. **

'**We'll be waiting outside,' Agent Hill called back to them as they got into the lift.**

**The Avengers looked at each other. Bruce shrugged. **

'**We have to go, it's director Fury,' Bruce said getting up. Pepper watched as the rest of the Avengers sighed and got up to followed Bruce. **

'**I'll go get Tony,' Bruce said taking the stairs, as the other Avengers climbed into the lift. **

**Tony was laughing at what Agent Hill had said to Natasha. Oh how he would have loved to see the look on Natasha's face. Bruce stepped through the broken door and stopped when he saw Tony laying on the floor laughing his head off. **

'**Ok… morning,' Bruce said walking over to him and holding out his hand. Tony took it and Bruce pulled him up.**

'**Are you ok?' Bruce asked Tony with a look of concern on his face. **

'**Yeah am fine,' Tony said rubbing his back. **

'**Ok, Director Fury-'**

'**Want's to see us. Yeah I was listening,' Tony interrupted Bruce. 'Am not going,' Tony said turning around and walking over to his desk, patting Dummy as he walk passed him. Tony grabbed his desk and turned it back over. **

'**Tony you need to come,' Bruce said. Tony chuckled as he started to pick up the sheets. **

'**I need to clean this place up,' Tony said as he placed papers onto his desk. **

'**Tony, if you don't come Agent Hill will come and drag you up there by your ear,' Bruce said. **

'**Oh I can't argue with that,' Tony said with a smirk on his face. The smirk though didn't get to his eyes. Bruce could see the pain in Tony's eyes. He wanted to help but knew Tony didn't need pity, he knew Tony just wanted a friend. **

'**Come on Tony,' Bruce said weakly. Tony shrugged and turned back around the keep cleaning up his lab. Tony turned back around when he heard footsteps coming up the steps. **

'**Stark, come on now,' Agent Hill said, ignoring the fact that Tony's lab was a mess and that Tony was in a pair of tracksuit bottoms and ad ACDC top. When Tony didn't say anything. Agent Hill walked over grabbed his ear and pulled him along the lab floor. Tony weakly attempted to get Agent Hill off him, but seriously didn't want her to kick his butt. Bruce chuckled at the scene. Agent Hill dragging Tony down the stairs and Tony wincing at the pain of his ear. Bruce followed them down the stairs and out of the tower. Agent Hill let go of Tony's ear as the got to the bottom floor. She opened the door and let Bruce go first and she went last, letting Tony go in the middle. They walked out and Tony suddenly want to be back in his lab with Dummy and the bottle of scotch. **

**News reporters and the press surround him, Bruce and Agent Hill. Bruce went stiff as they walked outside. He hated crowds. Agent Hill just pushed her way through the crowd of cameras and microphones. Flashes went off everywhere and Tony was sure he was going to go blind. He wanted his sunglasses. He felt safe behind them, no-one could see in. **

'**Tony, Tony why did you do it?' **

'**Tony, Tony Stark over here mate,' **

'**Tony are you going to stay as Iron Man?'**

'**How are you going to get over your depression?' **

**Tony started to shake when Agent Hill pushed him into the car. Tony sighed in relief, he was still shaking though and Bruce noticed. When they got to SHEILD base they all climbed into the jet. **

**They landed ten minutes later on the helicarrier. They walked into the meeting room. Fury was already there and was sat down waiting for them. That was a first, they would all be there first and then Fury would walk in ten minutes late with Agent Hill on his heels. They all sat down in their usually spots. Tony the furthest away from Fury, as always. Agent Hill an Agent Coulson stood behind Fury's chair. Fury looked up and stared at Tony as he sat down. Tony felt a little uncomfortable and shuffled in his seat. Fury straightened up in his chair. **

'**As you all know the press and the public all want to know what is happening,' Fury began. Tony felt sick, like physical sick. He was going to throw up soon. Luckily Tony could see a trash can in the corner, unlucky Tony hated throwing up. Fury continued.**

'**We are trying our best to tell them something, anything that will keep them away, but seen as we don't even know ourselves about what yesterday was about we can't tell them a lot,' Fury looked over to Stark, who had turned slightly pale. **

'**So, I called you all here today so that you can explain to me, Agent Hill and Agent Coulson, why the hell you,' Fury pointed at Stark, 'tried to commit suicide yesterday.' Fury looked over to Stark. **

**Shouldn't have got drunk, Tony thought. He could feel it, he was going to be sick. He swallowed hard thinking it would help but it didn't. Tony breathed in deeply. **

'**I… I…' Tony choked he couldn't explain to them. He couldn't even explain it to himself yet, yet alone them. Steve saw Tony was choking and stepped in. **

'**I can tell you,' Steve said. Fury looked over to Steve and raised an eyebrow. **

'**Go ahead then,' Fury said. Steve took a deep breath and told Fury everything that he knew. How he and Bruce had been the only ones awake. How they both said that Steve should go up. About how Steve had tried to get Tony down. What Tony had said to him up on the roof. How Steve had grabbed Tony's hand to stop him falling. **

**When Steve finished, everyone was silent. No-one knew what to say. Tony couldn't remember that much about what had happen, but now Steve had told everyone what he had seen, Tony now felt even more sick.**

**Tony ran out of the room and to the nearest toilet and threw up. Bruce got up and followed Tony out of the room. Tony sat on the bathroom floor. His back pressed up against the wall and his arms on his knees, with his head on his arms. His eyes were shut tightly. Bruce sighed and sat down next to Tony. He didn't say anything, he just sat there next to Tony, letting Tony calm down. **

'**You know… I hate throwing up,' Tony said after a while. Bruce smiled. **

'**I think everyone does,' Bruce said and looking over to Tony. Tony lifted his head and sighed.**

'**Yeah I guess you right,' Tony said getting up. Bruce looked as Tony washed his face with cold water. Tony rubbed his face with a towel and turned towards Bruce. Bruce got up.**

'**Fury still wants to talk to you,' Bruce said and opening the bathroom down. Tony sighed and walked out. He walked back into the meeting room. **

**Fury had sent everyone out, except for Agent Hill who was sat down to the right of Fury. Tony went to sit down in his chair and Bruce sat next to him. Fury sighed.**

'**Stark, we know you have been through a lot, ok' Fury started. Tony just stared at the table. **

'**Stark we want you go talk to someone,' Agent Hill said. Tony looked up. **

'**What? You want me to go a therapist?' Tony said. Fury nodded. **

'**What? No, I don't need to go to some stupid therapist,' Tony said, he got up and stormed out of the meeting room.**

**Hello everyone, i have finished this story now, but i'm going to make you wait. Hope you liked this chapter. Reviews would be nice.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

When Tony got home, none of the Avengers were there. Tony walked into the bar and looked for his scotch.

'Aww Bruce why?' Tony said when he realised that Bruce had taken and hidden all of his scotch. Tony got a glass of water.

'Trying to quit drinking?' a voice came from behind Tony. Tony knew who it was but still jumped.

'Well… yeah, seen as Bruce has nicked all my drinks,' Tony said turning around. Rhodey was sat on the sofa, must have been waiting for Tony to get back home. Tony walked over to the sofa and sat down.

'What do you want, Rhodey, cos if you're here to ask me if am ok and why did you do it, then you can just get up and walk out right now. You choice,' Tony said taking a drink from his glass. Rhodey looked at Stark.

'Come on Tony, last time you suffering from depression it was pretty bad,' Rhodey said.

'I'm not suffering from depression,' Tony snapped. Rhodey leaned back in the sofa.

'Fine Tony… just don't freak out on me, but Bruce phoned me and I've got to be the one to get you to go to therapy,' Rhodey said, while Tony looked away from him.

'Come on Tony, you tried to commit suicide. That isn't something you can just pass off,' Rhodey told Tony.

'I'm fine,' Tony said. Rhodey wasn't convinced.

'Where doing this for your own good,' Rhodey said. Tony rolled his eyes.

'I don't need to go to some stupid therapist. I'm fine, I'm Iron Man for god sake,' Tony said, getting up and walking back over to the bar.

'You seriously not going to find them,' Rhodey said from the sofa. When Bruce had phoned to tell him that Tony had tried to commit suicide, Bruce had also told him that he was hiding all the alcohol from Tony so he didn't do something stupid while he was drunk. Tony huffed. He rummaged through the cupboard, Moving cups and plates and food.

'Where's the bloody alcohol, it's my dam tower,' Tony said. After ten minutes Tony gave up and collapsed back onto the sofa and turned his head over to look at Rhodey.

'Don't. Say. A. Word,' Tony said pointing to him. Rhodey smiled. Tony closed his eyes.

He didn't need to go to some stupid therapist just to tell for Tony to sit there and the therapist to tell him that he was fine. Because guess what Tony was fine. He didn't have the time to sit around talking about stupid feelings. He didn't want to spend all his time and money talking to some idiot of a therapist, who probably won't even tell me anything. Tony sighed and opened his eyes. Rhodey was still staring at him. Tony looked at him.

'I don't need any therapist to tell me that I'm fine because I already know that am fine,' Tony said. He leaned forward and grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. The news flicked on and Tony saw his own name as the headline.

'God again. They can't get enough of me can they,' Tony said before turning it over. Tony maybe hiding his pain well, but Rhodey could still see the pain in Tony eyes. Tony was a good liar though.

'Fine, I'll drop it but Tony… please… just think about it ok,' Rhodey said.

'Yeah whatever,' Ton said waving his hand while he watched the TV and Rhodey dropped it and leaned back into the sofa. They watched TV for about five minutes, until Rhodey got a call. Rhodey answered his phone.

'Hello, Rhodes speaking,' he said down the phone. Tony watched as Rhodey nodded.

'Yep… OK…Yep…Humm… OK… I'll be there soon,' Rhodey said and hanged up the phone. He looked at Tony and sighed.

'I've got to go. The states need me,' Rhodey said getting up and smiling. Tony chuckled.

'Yeah what's the state gunna do with your help… scare a bunch of puppies,' Tony said smiling. Rhodey hit him lightly on the head and walked to the lift. He stopped before he got to the lift and turned around to look back at Tony.

'Don't do anything stupid while am gone honey,' Rhodey said and entered the lift. Tony laughed at his best friend and turns his attention back to the TV.

**I had to bring Rhodey in, i mean what would a best friend be if he didn't come and check up on you after you tired committing suicide. Anyway hope you liked. sleepingshadows97, it was a bit confusing having both in bold hope this was better. :) **


	13. Chapter 13

**Second to last chapter guys. It's been great writing this story, thanks for the support. Hope you like this chapter.**

Chapter 13

The rest of the Avengers came home later. Clint jumped over the back of the sofa and landed next to Tony. Steve walked in; he saw Tony lying on the sofa and walked out and to his bedroom. Bruce went to his lab. Natasha had gone on another mission and Thor had gone off to go and surprise Jane.

'What's up buttercup,' Clint said. Tony looked up at him and rolled his eyes.

'Buttercup, seriously?' Tony said and looked back at the TV.

'Don't like the nickname do you, buttercup,' Clint said and Tony rolled his eyes again. He would thank Clint for not being wired around him after what had happen, but Tony was too big headed to do it so he just kept quiet. Clint and Tony watched the football game and when it finished Tony got up and walked to the kitchen.

'Hey, bird. Do you know where Bruce hid _my_ alcohol?' Tony asked. Clint just shrugged.

'Don't know, but if I were him I wouldn't hid it in the kitchen. This tower as many floors and I wouldn't hide your alcohol on the floors that you actually use,' Clint said.

'Good idea,' Tony said looking away from the cupboard he was screeching for the firth time.

It was one week later and Tony had nearly given up on screeching for his expensive scotch. He would either be in his lab or wondering around the floors trying to fine the scotch. Tony would ask Bruce to give it to him but Bruce would shrug and say he can't remember where he had put it. Tony was getting more and more anxious be the day. He needs his alcohol.

Steve had been acting kind of strange around Tony, and Tony didn't like it. Why couldn't Steve just act normal around him? Tony hated it. Steve was being wired ever since the moment on the roof, maybe it was something Ton had said. He did say he had grew up hating the man. Tony really should remember that Steve was a sensitive guy, but it wasn't his fault that he didn't remember, he was on the brink of committing suicide. Natasha, well Natasha hadn't really been near Tony. Probable thinks if she comes near me she'll catch something, Tony thought and would chuckle when he thought that. Natasha had been staying away from the Stark Tower over the past week. Tony didn't argue with it though. Clint was just normal Clint. Making little jokes here and there and just watching TV must of the times if he wasn't on a mission.

Tony needed his alcohol and Bruce wasn't giving it to him. He had gone out to the shop and bought some but got bombarded by the press. He had to call Bruce to come and help him because he couldn't even get to his car because they the press were surrounding him. When Bruce had come the press saw the green hint in his sink and eyes and he had told them to go away. The press back away straight away. Bruce got Tony to the car and Tony was shaking pretty bad and had his head in his hands, as they drove back home. Bruce had took the alcohol Tony had bought from him and only left him with one glass of scotch. Tony decided not the go out again for a while. He was still having really bad nightmares each time he went to sleep and every time he woke up he would have a panic attack. So, for the past three days Tony hadn't slept because he didn't want to go through another nightmare and for that matter a panic attack when he woke up. Tony saw that Pepper and Bruce where starting to notice his lack of sleep and his more and more drinking of coffee. Tony would have bags under his eyes and was always kind of hyper, but shaking too.

Tony sat at the table. He had a cup of coffee in his hands and his right leg was bouncing as he sat there. He ran a hand through his brown hair and his had shook as he placed it back down on the table. Steve walked in and saw Tony shaking.

'Morning Steve,' Tony said his voice a little shaky. Steve raised an eyebrow.

'Morning, are you ok?' Steve said getting a coffee. Tony nodded.

'Yeah I'm fine. You?' Tony asked. Steve sat down at the table.

'Yep, I'm fine,' Steve replied. Tony nodded. His right leg stopped shaking and his left leg began to shake instead. Steve had to say it. He had been keeping it all shut up for the past week and he couldn't keep it in any longer.

'Tony, about what you said up on the roof… Was it true you grew up hating me?' Steve asked. Tony looked up at him and then back down at his coffee which was now freezing cold because he had been sat there for ages now. Tony didn't know how to answer this. Should he lie or should he tell the truth. If he lied Steve would be able to tell that he was lying but if he told the true Tony would hurt Steve's feelings.

'Yes, I did,' Tony went with the truth, he might as well.

'I mean I did hate you, but that was when I was younger. Now that I work with you and I have got to know you and that… well we live together now, I have grown to like you,' Tony said. Steve nodded as he took it all in.

'So you did hate me then,' Steve said and Tony nodded. Steve looked down at his coffee.

'Look, I'm sorry,' Steve said looking back up. Tony blinked.

'What?' Tony asked in confusion. 'Why are you sorry?'

'Tony… I'm sorry because… I finally understand your pass, after what you told me when we were on the roof. I'm sorry about how you grew up,' Steve said. Tony nodded, staring down at his coffee and holding the cup for dear life. He didn't want to talk about it, not just yet.

'Erm… yeah thanks,' Tony said getting up and pouring the cold coffee down the sink.

'Wait Tony,' Steve said as Tony was about to walk out of the room. Tony sighed and turned back around.

'What?' Tony said, walking back to his chair and collapsing onto it. He knew Steve wanted to talk and Tony knew Steve wouldn't let him go if he didn't talk. He looked at Steve.

'You know you can tell me anything,' Steve said. Tony rolled his eyes.

'Ew feelings,' Tony said pulling a face. Steve smiled a little and then his face went back to serious.

'Tony I'm not joking,' Steve said and Tony knew wasn't, Tony sighed. His leg began to shake again.

'You not going to let this go are you?' Tony asked already knowing the answer. Steve looked down at Tony's leg and then looked back up at Tony.

'No, I'm not,' Steve said. Tony leaned back in his chair.

'Tony come on,' Steve said. He really didn't want to talk about it, but Steve was pushing and Tony knew he wouldn't stop. Steve opened his mouth again.

'Fine I'll talk,' Tony said before Steve could say anything else. Tony sighed, his face emotionless.

'My father would talk about you. He would say how great you were and how brave you were. I wanted to be like you…well not that much,' Tony added, 'But every time my dad would talk about you, it seem like he just turned into a normal dad and forgot about his work and everything, forgot about hating me, forgot about being stressed.' Tony said, he paused and swallow. 'Whenever he was in a mad mood he would take it out on me. He would storm into my room, all angry and furious. He would shout at me, but he would never hit me. Never.' Tony said, he sighed again and looked down at the table. 'When he had finished he would storm back out of my room. Later I would go into my father office and he would be there, either shouting down the phone at someone or scribbling on pieces of paper. I would then ask him about you and his mood would change completely. He would tell me stories about you and everything. I wanted to be like you but then I also hated you. You were the only thing that my father would talk to me about. I hated it. I wanted my father to see I how great I was, but he would never listen. He hated me as his son,' Tony said, his leg had been shaking all the way through his little speech.

He looked up from the table and Steve was staring at him blankly. Tony sighed. He spun around in his chair and got up. He walked to the coffee machine and started it. He just stared at the coffee machine until it had finished. Tony grabbed the coffee and turned around to face Steve.

'Happy now?' Tony asked and took a sip of his coffee and then walked to the door.

'I'm so so sorry Tony, I really am,' Steve whispered. Tony stopped but didn't turn around. His hand that wasn't holding the coffee shook a little bit.

'Yeah, I know,' Tony said and he took another sip of his coffee.

'Too much coffee is bad for you,' Steve said, Tony chuckled and nodded.

'Yeah, I know,' Tony said his free hand still shaking as he walked out of the room. He got down to his lab before he let his mask down and broke down in tears. He wasn't that strong anymore. He was breaking and he didn't like it. Maybe, maybe he should go see a therapist.

No, I don't need to go see some stupid therapist, Tony thought as he went to his desk and sat down at the chair. There was a smoothie sat on his desk. He drank the smoothie in one and then landed onto his sofa. He didn't feel like getting up and doing work and before he knew it he was sleep.

He suddenly woke up screaming. He rolled off the sofa and stood up. His head spun. He grabbed hold of it. His heart was beating fast. He couldn't remember what his nightmare had been about, but he knew it was bad. He went and sat at his desk.

He looked over to Dummy. He leaned back on two legs and put his feet up on the desk and his hand behind his head. He sighed and span around in his chair holding his legs up as he span around. He stopped and looked at Dummy.

'What do you think? Should I go see some stupid therapist or what,' Tony asked Dummy who just stared at him.

'Yeah you're right,' Tony said getting up and walking out of the lab and back up the stairs.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

'**I know I should have told Pepper, or somebody about the nightmares. It's just you know. I thought I didn't need to. If I had it probably would have ended differently. You know not losing my mind and threatening to jump off my building. I wouldn't be talking to a therapist. I wouldn't have the press.'**

**Tony gestured in front of him. **

'**I wouldn't have the press following me around all the time, it's been what. Two months now and still they follow me around asking 'why did I do it?' or 'Are you going to me Iron Man anymore,' or stuff like 'You're not stable to be Iron Man anymore' Not stable well ok… I have to admit I did throw myself off a building but I had reasons. I got didn't get up on day and decided. Oh you know what I'll just take a drive off my building and see what happens when I hit the ground. So I came here to tell you why I did it. **

**I did it because well… you know why by now any. But let me put it in short for you. Like I had said. I couldn't deal with it. The nightmares, the panic attacks, the endless nights not sleeping and just in my lab working my head off. Or getting drunk… Well I don't regret alcohol but yeah you know where am coming from. **

**I couldn't deal with the nightmares of … my father Howard. Non off you know this but I didn't really have… what you would call a great childhood.'**

**Tony sighed. **

'**It just all built up inside me and even though I told myself I wasn't going to break and then I finally did. Even after I threw myself off the building and Spangles caught me. Sorry… his name is Steve not spangles.**

**Tony looked over to Steve and smiled when he saw Steve chuckled.**

**Anyway… Even after that whole thing I still believe that I was fine until I realised I wasn't, which was two weeks later. **

**I mean everyone put the hope on me to save the New York from that missile last year and save the world from a full on alien invasion. It would have been cool to grab hold of one of them aliens and get a proper look but they didn't let me. Shame right. I really did want to get hold of them and look at them. The texture of their skin and everything. Anyway am going off point. **

**You came here to listen to my story and well now you have it.**

**All of it. The side of me no one really knew. Not really even myself. I kept it that locked up, even I began to ignore it, which was pretty bad since it came to that. **

**So, for the pasted two months I've been going to a therapist. Which I hate but am going anyway… well because Pepper is forcing my to. And Brucie… And Spangles. Well all of them are really. If I miss one… One little one. They all come running down to my lab and ask me why I didn't go… Normal it's because I don't want to go, but I tell them it's because I'm too busy with working on something or I fell asleep. The falling asleep reason is something they never believe since I don't just go to sleep… I just stay up all the time… which is bad for me, apparently. Well that's what why all say.'**

**Tony said pointing the Avengers and Pepper who sat on a row of chairs against the side wall. To Tony's left. Tony looked and shuffled him feet. He looked back up and sighed again. He felt like he was doing a lot of sighing today. Anyway… he shook his head and began again. **

'**SOOOOOO…. I did it. I'm here now talking to you. I've told you my story well, most of it anyway. I guess you already know most of my story anyway without me telling you. **

**I guess I finally decided to do this yesterday. I need to change my life around again. Like after I change for Pepper and stopped being a Playboy. I mean I still say it. Genius, billionaire, ex-playboy, philanthropist doesn't really sound the same. **

**So yeah that was my story, well my story up to here. You got all that wrote it all down. Yeah, I thought you would. You wouldn't stop scribbling on your little note pad while I was talking to you or getting another bloddly recorder out because I talk to dam much right,' **

**Tony looked around him. Camera's pointing at him as he talked. **

'**Anyway… erm… thanks for listening to story. I know you are all going to have a great ay rise now that I have told you everything. So, go get publishing,' Tony said. He stepped back from the speaking podium. He sighed and ruffled his hand through his hair. He looked at the press as their camera's started to flash. He blinked and shook his head. He stepped down. He walked over to the Avengers and Pepper. The press where shouting questions.**

'**Tony!'**

'**Stark, over her!' **

'**What about Iron Man,' One of the reporters shouted. He turned around and looked at them. They died down. He sighed.**

'**I'm Iron Man and no-one, no-one can ever take that every from me. Because guess what… I am Iron Man,' Tony said and walked out of the room. The Avengers and Pepper followed after him. Tony pulled his glasses back on his eyes, as a couple of tears threated to roll down his check. He walked to the car and got in. Pepper in the passenger's seat and Steve and Bruce in the back. He drove off and handed back to the Tower. He sighed and drove fast back to the tower. He wanted…needed a drink. **

'**Hey Bruce can I have my scotch back now?' Tony asked and looked at Bruce through the rear-view mirror. Bruce chuckled. **

'**I never hid it,' Bruce said. Tony frowned. **

'**What you taking about man?' Tony asked. He looked at Bruce in confusion. **

'**I never hid it. I took your scotch and put it in your lab fridge. You never saw it.' Bruce smiled. 'You must have known somewhere in your mind that you didn't need it and never registered the scotch, that was there in plain sight,' Bruce said. **

'**Uh,' Tony said and looked back at the road. He didn't need it. It was there in plain sight but he didn't go for it. Why? He always needed his alcohol. Maybe he didn't really needed it, he just drank because he could. Tony sighed and his thoughts drifted back to the press conference. He said asked Pepper to arrange one and he asked her to be there. She said she would come for support. What Tony didn't know was that Pepper had asked the Avengers to come too. He had walked into the room full of the press and saw them all sat on the chairs next to the wall. He smiled at them. He mentally thank Pepper for it. Sadly… **

**Tony knew that even after all of this…**

**Tony knew he would break. Tony always at the end will break and fall. He would then pick himself back up again and move on with his life. With the help from his friends this time Tony could move on faster and hopefully never go back to that place again.**

**Tony would break…**

Hiya guys, well that's it. i have loved writing this story i'm am gunna miss it. Love you all, if you liked this story then please check out my other one i'm working on at the moment, it's called Pains of Family, see if you like it. I love you all so much and thank you all for the reviews and follows, GOODBYE! xx


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